Top 5 reasons why Watchmen will make me very angry
So I said previously why Watchmen will rule. here's why it will suck
1) Zach Snyder- ok, so he's directed Dawn of the Dead and 300. 2 successful and not horrific movies. But here's the main problem; Watchmen is all about subtlety and ambiguity. The beauty is all these characters are heroes, but they all are deeply screwed up. Rorschach is ultra-violent, Nite Owl II lets himself go after losing his job, Dr. Manhattan feels inhuman, and the relationship between Silk Spectre I and the Comedian is so bizarre. The entire point is that every character is basically a hero, but they do really crappy things. And who knows what's right and what's wrong? Are the decisions made by all the heroes at the end the correct ones?
So why is this Zach Snyder's fault? Well, it's simple; He doesn't do ambiguity. In 300, the characters are about as subtle as a brick. makeup artist- "Hmm, how shall we depict the one evil Spartan" Snyder- "I know, lets make him crippled and deformed, just in case the audience doesnt realize hes bad." makeup artist- "I don't know, that seems about as obvious as making the Persians giant ogres or rapist-pedophiles" Snyder-"great idea, why didnt I think of that"
Snyder can do action. But he's shown that he either can make a comic book with no ideas (300) or take a social satire and turn it into a straight-up zombie film (Dawn of the Dead).
2) Track Record- Alan Moore has had 3 movies made of his work. they've all been pretty shoddy or saved by things that countered the butchering of his work.
A) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen-The movie that forced Sean Connery into retirement. And Connery had already made a Michael Bay movie.
B) From Hell- Who the Hell has seen it? (Get it, it's funny cause its a pun. I used hell twice, aren't I witty)
C) V for Vendetta- ok hold up. I liked this movie. Why are you insulting it? well, the movie was good, but not because of what happened in the adaptation. Stephen Rea just happens to be the best lead actor who a lot of people don't know, and Hugo Weaving's voice couldnt have been more perfect. BUT, V for Vendetta took a complex book with a complex protagonist about whether anarchy was good or bad and made it a simple yet enjoyable movie about beating evil, completely ignoring WTF will happen to England without a government.
3) The trailer- I liked the trailer. But there are two things that scared me.
A) no plot whatsoever- it was just visuals, which will not suffice in the movie
B) The Song- here's my big bad luck sign. The song in the trailer is "The Beginning is the End is the Beginning" by the Smashing Pumpkins. A song that is on another superhero movie album....
BATMAN AND ROBIN. any connection to that film, coincidental or otherwise, scares me.
4) The actors- below I gave a few reasons why the actors are good. But with the exception of Billy Crudup, these actors havent been in a lot of well-known movies. Sure, I enjoyed Vince's agent on Entourage when Ari was fired, but do I think she can carry a cast? Or a side character from Match Point? Or a former child star whose made one film as an adult? Or a guy best known for dying on Grey's Anatomy? (spoiler alert! if you happen to care about shitty soap operas) Hell, the two most proven actors are Billy Crudup and Patrick Wilson, and nobody even knows who they are (not to say they suck).
5) Logistics- you can't fully transport Watchmen to film (which directly contradicts what I said below this, but w/e). Watchmen is just full of these details that cant be put into film. Every panel has these hidden images, jokes etc. that just make the comic complete. The biggest difference I know between the film and the comic is that the comic-within-the-comic "Tales of the Black Freighter" will not be in the film (wikipedia says so). Watchmen almost needs to be a comic for it to work. A film doesn't have the time to cover everything that Watchmen has. And even if the film was 5 hours long, the details that you could always look back for in the panels are fleeting images.
5)
1) Zach Snyder- ok, so he's directed Dawn of the Dead and 300. 2 successful and not horrific movies. But here's the main problem; Watchmen is all about subtlety and ambiguity. The beauty is all these characters are heroes, but they all are deeply screwed up. Rorschach is ultra-violent, Nite Owl II lets himself go after losing his job, Dr. Manhattan feels inhuman, and the relationship between Silk Spectre I and the Comedian is so bizarre. The entire point is that every character is basically a hero, but they do really crappy things. And who knows what's right and what's wrong? Are the decisions made by all the heroes at the end the correct ones?
So why is this Zach Snyder's fault? Well, it's simple; He doesn't do ambiguity. In 300, the characters are about as subtle as a brick. makeup artist- "Hmm, how shall we depict the one evil Spartan" Snyder- "I know, lets make him crippled and deformed, just in case the audience doesnt realize hes bad." makeup artist- "I don't know, that seems about as obvious as making the Persians giant ogres or rapist-pedophiles" Snyder-"great idea, why didnt I think of that"
Snyder can do action. But he's shown that he either can make a comic book with no ideas (300) or take a social satire and turn it into a straight-up zombie film (Dawn of the Dead).
2) Track Record- Alan Moore has had 3 movies made of his work. they've all been pretty shoddy or saved by things that countered the butchering of his work.
A) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen-The movie that forced Sean Connery into retirement. And Connery had already made a Michael Bay movie.
B) From Hell- Who the Hell has seen it? (Get it, it's funny cause its a pun. I used hell twice, aren't I witty)
C) V for Vendetta- ok hold up. I liked this movie. Why are you insulting it? well, the movie was good, but not because of what happened in the adaptation. Stephen Rea just happens to be the best lead actor who a lot of people don't know, and Hugo Weaving's voice couldnt have been more perfect. BUT, V for Vendetta took a complex book with a complex protagonist about whether anarchy was good or bad and made it a simple yet enjoyable movie about beating evil, completely ignoring WTF will happen to England without a government.
3) The trailer- I liked the trailer. But there are two things that scared me.
A) no plot whatsoever- it was just visuals, which will not suffice in the movie
B) The Song- here's my big bad luck sign. The song in the trailer is "The Beginning is the End is the Beginning" by the Smashing Pumpkins. A song that is on another superhero movie album....
BATMAN AND ROBIN. any connection to that film, coincidental or otherwise, scares me.
4) The actors- below I gave a few reasons why the actors are good. But with the exception of Billy Crudup, these actors havent been in a lot of well-known movies. Sure, I enjoyed Vince's agent on Entourage when Ari was fired, but do I think she can carry a cast? Or a side character from Match Point? Or a former child star whose made one film as an adult? Or a guy best known for dying on Grey's Anatomy? (spoiler alert! if you happen to care about shitty soap operas) Hell, the two most proven actors are Billy Crudup and Patrick Wilson, and nobody even knows who they are (not to say they suck).
5) Logistics- you can't fully transport Watchmen to film (which directly contradicts what I said below this, but w/e). Watchmen is just full of these details that cant be put into film. Every panel has these hidden images, jokes etc. that just make the comic complete. The biggest difference I know between the film and the comic is that the comic-within-the-comic "Tales of the Black Freighter" will not be in the film (wikipedia says so). Watchmen almost needs to be a comic for it to work. A film doesn't have the time to cover everything that Watchmen has. And even if the film was 5 hours long, the details that you could always look back for in the panels are fleeting images.
5)
posted by Harry at 3:58 PM
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