Why Halloween 2007 will suck (and why it wont)
OK, so I consider myself a pretty serious Horror movie fan, not a fanatic, but a fan. So i have been thinking about the upcoming remake of arguably the most influntial slasher film of all time, Halloween. The original is an outstanding horror movie, starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasance and directed by John Carpenter (who also composed the famous theme). The plot of the movie is relatively simple: Psycho kid (Michael Myers or "The Shape") is put in a mental asylum at an early age for murdering his family. There, Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance. The character's name is taken from the boyfriend of Janet Leigh in the original "Psycho) spends 7 years trying to help him, then 8 trying to keep him locked up because he sees Michael as "Purely evil". Michael proceeds to break out of the asylum and return to his house in Haddonfield, Illinois. There, he stalks Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her friends. Laurie is babysitting Tommy Doyle, and her friend Annie Brackett, who is also the daughter of the town sheriff, gives her another young child, Lindsey Wallace, to babysit. Suffice it to say Michael kills people, and Dr. Loomis with Sheriff Brackett tries to stop him. An easier way to describe the plot would have been "crazy guy escapes mental asylum, kills teenagers in small town".
The movie is good for several reasons. Carpenter uses the camera to make you jump when Michael pops out to kill people, and also when he shows michael stalking people from michael's view within the mask (actually a mask of william shatner painted white). It also uses little gore, but the killings can easily be called graphic as it shows the horror as each young victim dies. It inspired many sequels, some of which sucked royally (Halloween:Resurrection and Halloween 6 being the obvious ones), some of which were decent to okay (Halloween 2, 4,5, and Halloween:H20) and one which was a horrendous attempt to cash in on the name while having nothing to do with the series (Im talking to you Halloween 3). Now the ninth installment is actually a remake, or as director Rob Zombie put it, "a reimagining". Now here's some reasons why it will and will not suck.'
Why it Will Suck
1) Its a horror remake.
Horror remakes have 2 levels of quality: Crappy and "OH MY GOD, WHAT SICK SON OF A BITCH CAME UP WITH THIS PIECE OF PURE AND UTTER SHIT". So of course, every classic horror movie is being remade, even small ones like "The Wicker Man". The original? That was an interesting take on horror with an entire movie of build up until the finale and some very good performance (Christopher Lee). The remake? Just go on youtube and see some of Nicholas Cage's amazing lines in the movie. You will be screaming "How'd it get burned" for several days on end. So it is just unfair to assume this movie will be any better than all the other horror remakes (except Dawn of the Dead, which was good.)
2) Rob Zombie is directing
Many people have not seen Rob Zombie's 2 previous horror films. They are "The House of 100 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects". A big reason for this is that they are absurdly graphic, and Devils got an NC-17 rating. And the other one has Dwight from "The Office" being brutally murdered. Why is this content such a problem? It goes against why the original was scary. It was scary because the deaths concentrated on the act of dying itself, not the blood and gore that go along with it. The strangling on the phone is very hard to watch, even though not an ounce of blood is shed. And the stabbing of the boyfriend (forgot his name, so shoot me) has little blood, yet the terror on his face is what created the horror. However, I do not hate Rob Zombie, as you will see.
3) The Cast (partly)
The cast of the original Halloween, most notably the 2 main characters, both are very good actors. The Laurie Strode character is being played by Scout Taylor-Compton, who I honestly can say has been in no role I can even pretend to recollect. Likewise, the acting ability of Sheri Moon Zombie (who I hear has a large role that was not really big in the original) I do not think is that good (and so be my grammer), even in Zombie's 2 previous movies, unless you include the hilarious fake trailer "Werewolf Women of the SS" for Grindhouse.
This all being said, I have my hopes for it being very good, and I have quite a few reasons why.
Why It will Kick Major Ass
1) We are due for a good slasher flick
The way I look at it, since the inception of the horror slasher, we have had at least one good slasher flick that also made a lot of money each decade. The 70s was Halloween, and also had the Bonus of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The 60s was Psycho. The 80s was Nightmare on Elm Street. The 90s was Scream (a controversial pick, but i think its well done). Where is Friday the Thirteenth you ask? Well, watch the original, its not scary, it just had innovative gore (thank you Tom Savini). Same goes for its 9 1/2 sequels (1/2 for Freddy vs Jason). Hell, the original killer isnt even Jason!
The 2000 has had not one good slasher at all. We have 2 great zombie movies (28 days Later, Dawn of the Dead remake). We have the extreme (in my opinion bad, but not in everyone's) torture porn of Saw and Hostel. We have Final Destination, which is basically "Let's see how we can graphically/ironically kill teenagers!", but it worked at the box office and isnt total bad. We have smaller films that work, "Haute Tension", which has the downside of being French, but the upside of blending slasher and extreme gore well. But where is our big slasher? I hope its here.
2) Rob Zombie is directing
For all you geniuses who remember what they just read, yes this was also in the why it would suck column. Congrats. But lets not rush to say Zombie is a bad director. While I didnt like House of 1000 corpses, Devils Rejects was a good way of doing extreme horror. Not great, but good. The Slasher family was fleshed out better, and they were characters who show what evil is. However, it also shows other evil (the sheriff chasing them), and a great way to show horror through fate (the victim they leave alive and who could have stopped them meets a graphic and essentially tragic end). So this means Zombie got better from his debut, and hopefully this one will be very good.
3) The cast (4 of them)
I insulted some of the cast, but one of the beauties of horror is you dont need great actors all the time (see texas chainsaw massacre), or at least in all the roles. A few memorable characters will work, and 4 casting decisions show me this film may work
Malcolm McDowell (Dr. Loomis)- Malcolm McDowell is an amazing actor who I will always think of in the highest for his roles. The most famous being the lead in Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange, playing Alex De Large, or Alex Burgess, or just Alex. I think that is the greatest movie of all time, and he is in every scene and is the undisputed main character. He also does creepy well, as shown by Alex being the charming rapist/murderer he is. Also, his role on Entourage was good, and we can forget the hard-core movie Caligula that wrecked his career.
Danielle Harris (Annie Brackett)- everyone's first question "who the F*** is Danielle Harris?". She was the lead in Halloween 4 and 5. Admittedly, she was still in the single digit age then, but she kept those sequels together, as shown by the one after she left (Halloween 6: The curse of recasting a role fans liked). If only they could have brought back Paul Rudd (who was the lead in terrible Halloween 6, but now is pretty damn famous). Now she can pass (meaning shes actually much older) for a teenager (and a good looking one, see http://imdb.com/name/nm0364583/), so they gave her the role of Laurie's best friend. But the main reason its important is that it shows Zombie gives a crap about the series, and understands what made the older movies good.
Brad Dourif (Sheriff Leigh Brackett)- again, who the hell is this guy? actually, hes an oscar nominee (really) for "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", and in the horror world known as the voice of the cute little doll Chucky. So he cant be that bad. Beyond that, hes in the underrated (not joking) Exorcist III, which had to come after the unfortunate Exorcist II. Exorcist III is the only horror sequel I can think of with 4 oscar nominees in it (George C Scott, winner for Patton. Brad Dourif, and Jason Miller, nominated for the original Exorcist. The last man is the man to end all men, the baddest mother there ever was, and ever will be. Samuel. L. Jackson.), and its actually good, so dont hate it. But after that side track, hes a good actor who can do horror, which is enough for me to go see.
Danny Trejo (I dont know)- as the trailer for his recurring character Machete (Spy Kids, Grindhouse) says, "BUT THEY F***ED WITH THE WRONG MEXICAN)
Thank you for reading this overly long post. I actually have no formed opinion on how the movie will be. Goodbye.
The movie is good for several reasons. Carpenter uses the camera to make you jump when Michael pops out to kill people, and also when he shows michael stalking people from michael's view within the mask (actually a mask of william shatner painted white). It also uses little gore, but the killings can easily be called graphic as it shows the horror as each young victim dies. It inspired many sequels, some of which sucked royally (Halloween:Resurrection and Halloween 6 being the obvious ones), some of which were decent to okay (Halloween 2, 4,5, and Halloween:H20) and one which was a horrendous attempt to cash in on the name while having nothing to do with the series (Im talking to you Halloween 3). Now the ninth installment is actually a remake, or as director Rob Zombie put it, "a reimagining". Now here's some reasons why it will and will not suck.'
Why it Will Suck
1) Its a horror remake.
Horror remakes have 2 levels of quality: Crappy and "OH MY GOD, WHAT SICK SON OF A BITCH CAME UP WITH THIS PIECE OF PURE AND UTTER SHIT". So of course, every classic horror movie is being remade, even small ones like "The Wicker Man". The original? That was an interesting take on horror with an entire movie of build up until the finale and some very good performance (Christopher Lee). The remake? Just go on youtube and see some of Nicholas Cage's amazing lines in the movie. You will be screaming "How'd it get burned" for several days on end. So it is just unfair to assume this movie will be any better than all the other horror remakes (except Dawn of the Dead, which was good.)
2) Rob Zombie is directing
Many people have not seen Rob Zombie's 2 previous horror films. They are "The House of 100 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects". A big reason for this is that they are absurdly graphic, and Devils got an NC-17 rating. And the other one has Dwight from "The Office" being brutally murdered. Why is this content such a problem? It goes against why the original was scary. It was scary because the deaths concentrated on the act of dying itself, not the blood and gore that go along with it. The strangling on the phone is very hard to watch, even though not an ounce of blood is shed. And the stabbing of the boyfriend (forgot his name, so shoot me) has little blood, yet the terror on his face is what created the horror. However, I do not hate Rob Zombie, as you will see.
3) The Cast (partly)
The cast of the original Halloween, most notably the 2 main characters, both are very good actors. The Laurie Strode character is being played by Scout Taylor-Compton, who I honestly can say has been in no role I can even pretend to recollect. Likewise, the acting ability of Sheri Moon Zombie (who I hear has a large role that was not really big in the original) I do not think is that good (and so be my grammer), even in Zombie's 2 previous movies, unless you include the hilarious fake trailer "Werewolf Women of the SS" for Grindhouse.
This all being said, I have my hopes for it being very good, and I have quite a few reasons why.
Why It will Kick Major Ass
1) We are due for a good slasher flick
The way I look at it, since the inception of the horror slasher, we have had at least one good slasher flick that also made a lot of money each decade. The 70s was Halloween, and also had the Bonus of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The 60s was Psycho. The 80s was Nightmare on Elm Street. The 90s was Scream (a controversial pick, but i think its well done). Where is Friday the Thirteenth you ask? Well, watch the original, its not scary, it just had innovative gore (thank you Tom Savini). Same goes for its 9 1/2 sequels (1/2 for Freddy vs Jason). Hell, the original killer isnt even Jason!
The 2000 has had not one good slasher at all. We have 2 great zombie movies (28 days Later, Dawn of the Dead remake). We have the extreme (in my opinion bad, but not in everyone's) torture porn of Saw and Hostel. We have Final Destination, which is basically "Let's see how we can graphically/ironically kill teenagers!", but it worked at the box office and isnt total bad. We have smaller films that work, "Haute Tension", which has the downside of being French, but the upside of blending slasher and extreme gore well. But where is our big slasher? I hope its here.
2) Rob Zombie is directing
For all you geniuses who remember what they just read, yes this was also in the why it would suck column. Congrats. But lets not rush to say Zombie is a bad director. While I didnt like House of 1000 corpses, Devils Rejects was a good way of doing extreme horror. Not great, but good. The Slasher family was fleshed out better, and they were characters who show what evil is. However, it also shows other evil (the sheriff chasing them), and a great way to show horror through fate (the victim they leave alive and who could have stopped them meets a graphic and essentially tragic end). So this means Zombie got better from his debut, and hopefully this one will be very good.
3) The cast (4 of them)
I insulted some of the cast, but one of the beauties of horror is you dont need great actors all the time (see texas chainsaw massacre), or at least in all the roles. A few memorable characters will work, and 4 casting decisions show me this film may work
Malcolm McDowell (Dr. Loomis)- Malcolm McDowell is an amazing actor who I will always think of in the highest for his roles. The most famous being the lead in Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange, playing Alex De Large, or Alex Burgess, or just Alex. I think that is the greatest movie of all time, and he is in every scene and is the undisputed main character. He also does creepy well, as shown by Alex being the charming rapist/murderer he is. Also, his role on Entourage was good, and we can forget the hard-core movie Caligula that wrecked his career.
Danielle Harris (Annie Brackett)- everyone's first question "who the F*** is Danielle Harris?". She was the lead in Halloween 4 and 5. Admittedly, she was still in the single digit age then, but she kept those sequels together, as shown by the one after she left (Halloween 6: The curse of recasting a role fans liked). If only they could have brought back Paul Rudd (who was the lead in terrible Halloween 6, but now is pretty damn famous). Now she can pass (meaning shes actually much older) for a teenager (and a good looking one, see http://imdb.com/name/nm0364583/), so they gave her the role of Laurie's best friend. But the main reason its important is that it shows Zombie gives a crap about the series, and understands what made the older movies good.
Brad Dourif (Sheriff Leigh Brackett)- again, who the hell is this guy? actually, hes an oscar nominee (really) for "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", and in the horror world known as the voice of the cute little doll Chucky. So he cant be that bad. Beyond that, hes in the underrated (not joking) Exorcist III, which had to come after the unfortunate Exorcist II. Exorcist III is the only horror sequel I can think of with 4 oscar nominees in it (George C Scott, winner for Patton. Brad Dourif, and Jason Miller, nominated for the original Exorcist. The last man is the man to end all men, the baddest mother there ever was, and ever will be. Samuel. L. Jackson.), and its actually good, so dont hate it. But after that side track, hes a good actor who can do horror, which is enough for me to go see.
Danny Trejo (I dont know)- as the trailer for his recurring character Machete (Spy Kids, Grindhouse) says, "BUT THEY F***ED WITH THE WRONG MEXICAN)
Thank you for reading this overly long post. I actually have no formed opinion on how the movie will be. Goodbye.
posted by Harry at 12:19 PM
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